A married man might be hearing dirty
things about his wife and will keep calm, but the day he catches her in the act, one way or the other,
everything changes.
In her lone moments, 38yrs old Kolawole Busola, (real name withheld)
would certainly wish she could undo the string of events that led her
into the waiting arms of a bad guy Daniels, a colleague at work.
Married to a businessman, Babatope, 43, who travels frequently without
much time for romance for their love and intimacy to grow, Busola still
has herself to blame for what she has got herself into.
How did she land in bed with the guy? Her undoing was sharing her
worries with a male colleague who she thought would offered wise counsel
but he saw her as opportunity for free s*x. They became close and
started going out together. She did it so well that her husband never
suspected anything.
Not long after, their friendship became platonic (intimate and
affectionate) and few months after, they ended up in bed, having s*x.
They did that more than once, and it became a routine to the extent that
her husband suspected and started monitoring her, discreetly.
Eventually, Babatope found out that his wife had been sleeping with
another man the day he picked his wife’s phone and saw her text
messages. According to him, that was the end. Not even pleas and
admonitions by family members and friends could convince him to shelve
his plan to send her away.
They would have celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary two weeks ago,
like they did when it was 10 years, but that celebration was the last
thing on their mind that day. Their marriage was already on a fast lane
to hit the rocks since the day he found out about his wife’s infidelity.
The union that many admired, on its face value perhaps because they are
rich, is getting worse by the day, and not even the pleas and
explanations that Busola is dying to offer would make any difference.
Furious Babatope has made up his mind on sending her out of the house,
because according to him, the sin committed by his wife was
unforgiveable. He had told her, “I can forgive and overlook anything,
but not infidelity from my wife. I can never forgive that. So, she has
to go.”
Meanwhile, Busola recalled that she had also caught him chatting a lady
before and she had to forgive him and that they resolved it after her
husband offered some explanation. She started claiming right that now
it's her turn, she can't reconcile herself with the fact that her loving
husband couldn't forgive her.
The union is blessed with three children; two boys and a girl, but that
does not seem like a sufficient reason for him to halt his decision to
send her out of his life for good to go be with her play boy lover.
The Intervention
Truly, the thought of a cheating wife can be unsettling. Also, Busola’s
experience is not strange; it is in fact the reality for some women.
Even though men have always been seen to have more than one woman in our
culture, these days some women want to compete with their husband on
that, secretly though.
Understandably and for good reasons, a wife's infidelity in marriage is
unacceptable, and it has previously been identified as one of the most
common reasons for failed marriages.
This might sound unfair to the females, but that seems to be the case in many parts of the world.
Why is it that men find it difficult to forgive their partners if caught cheating?
According to a British Psychotherapist, Philip Hodson, men often find it
more difficult to forgive such for the fact that it affects their
masculinity, and to them, it might signal the end of the relationship.
Hodson, who is also a
Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, said, “Men find it much harder to forgive their
partners for cheating. For a betrayed woman, an affair by the man is an
offence against her dignity, but for a betrayed man, a woman’s
infidelity is an offence against his manhood. It goes right to the core
of his identity.”
